By now, I’m pretty sure you have heard the news. After just 72 days, Kim Kardashian calls it quits on her marriage to NBA player Kris Humphries. Is this newsworthy? Not really. Half of American weddings end in divorce and the statistic is higher among the celebrity elite. But what, if not newsworthy, is a 72-day marriage after a 10 million dollar wedding and a two million dollar engagement ring, not to mention the time and money spent covering and airing the wedding on E! amidst a worldwide recession and debt crises? I understand why the entertainment news outlets cover these women. But why do legitimate news outlets even waste a minute on her or any celebrity stories? Why would anyone want to talk about the Grecian Bailout program, the Jobs Bill, the violence on Wall Street, or the 40% rise in the cost of peanut butter? Perhaps Kim should win the Nobel Peace Prize for her contribution to ending unemployment. After all, her antics are keeping thousands of entertainment writers, comedians, and paparazzi on two continents (America and Australia) employed. Can you smell what the rock is cooking? Or is that just the stench of my sarcasm?
Truth be told, Kris Humphries was more than a little naive to believe that Kim Kardashian would leave the glitter and glitz of camera flashes behind to live a quiet Minnesota life. As the hip hop saying goes, “You can’t turn a ho into a housewife.” I can’t believe I just used a dumb rapper quote. Now, I really know this story is for low lives.
Family and friends reported weeks ago that they were “having problems, but if the cameras would leave them alone they would be able to work things out.” Shullbit. If the cameras had been out of the way, she would have filed for divorce two months ago, just to get them back. There must be something addictive about the life. Consider Brittney Spears, Mariah Carey, Halle Berry; hell, look back at Elizabeth Taylor. There is a reason Hollywood marriages don’t last and it’s the addiction to the camera. People become as addicted to the limelight as to any drug and the idea of living a “normal” life is as appealing as a paper cut to the eyeball.
There is something else to consider about the coverage of this topic. Humphries did nothing wrong, is remaining stoically silent, doesn’t want the two million dollar ring back, and is spearheading the return of wedding gifts. A perfect gentleman. When Brittney Spears married and annulled her marriage from her childhood sweetheart, he quietly returned to life as normal in the Louisiana bayou. There was never any hoopla over any of Elizabeth Taylor’s numerous ex’s. But we heard about Halle Berry’s ex’s (brothers, of course): one with a temper and another with a sex addiction. And when her third major breakup occurred, there were no headlines of his infidelity or his temper, in the headlines. We didn’t even hear about his racial comments toward her until it was in the courts. The headlines featured her anger and rage in the custody battle over their daughter. Whitney and Bobby’s marriage broke up because they were both crackheads or how the media made it look as if Bobby brought Whitney down from her great career. No fooling; it was the pipe!
Some celebrity couples break up amicably and display a measure of decorum. Unless it’s one of their good old boys like Mel Gibson or Charlie Sheen, the media will find a way to make the woman look like a gold digger, or they had it coming. While celebrity, fame and influence can’t prevent the media muckraking of famous breakups, I’m not saying K. Hump doesn’t deserve a few kudos for the classy handling of a crappy situation. I’m saying that we hear a lot about his silence, but little to nothing about the class and dignity that Sheree Zapino displayed during and after divorcing Will Smith. There is nothing heard or written about the many happy celebrity couples. The point is, none of the celebrities’ love lives should ever be in the news. But we know that’s not going to happen.
Many people say Kim used her marriage and the media for a career and a financial boost. What do we expect from a woman who was best known for being close friends with Paris Hilton, then exploded on the scene after making a sex tape? An everyday underground porn star. Then, she pimped her family’s drama out to the world. And now, do people expect anything different? Most people knew her marriage wouldn’t last; however what shocks me is the fact there are people angry, saying her marriage was a scam and that she should give back the money and gifts. Hello! The scam didn’t start with the marriage. It started the day the cameras followed her around, constantly focusing on her ass, as if she is the only woman on earth with an Apple Bottom. If big asses were a qualification to fame, there would be a lot of Black women smiling for the cameras. Be cool sisters! There ain’t nothing wrong with a little junk in the trunk.
Oh huh, she knows. It’s just a matter of time before that ass turns into cottage cheese and varicose veins. She has to make all the money she can now. So what if she monetizes love, engages in making her wedding ceremony look like it should have been conducted by a ringmaster instead of Priest. Why? In the words of Al Pacino from the movie Heat: “She’s got a great ass!” And the media got their heads all the way up it. So Kim, keep strutting your stuff on the media ho stroll, while the public (johns and tricks) watches your every move. Work it girl, Work it.
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